Away up in the bloody tower, Wild Land paced back and forth in its tiny cell, pausing to shake the bars occasionally in total frustration. Fortunately, this was just a bloody tower and not The Bloody Tower.
Far below the axe man hefted his shiny ucks (he had an accent like Gimli) and turned to me, “When do you want it done?” He’s an ‘Ohh Arrrr’ type. Minus the eyepatch, of course. You need two good eyes to be any good at this head-lopping lark otherwise you don’t achieve your Key Performance Indicators and miss out on the end-of-year bonus and profit-share.
You have to be careful when nattering to these executioner types. To them, head-count is a performance measure not a staff census and they take the whole thing rather seriously. When he claimed to have coached Gimli with his “And my Ucks!” line at the Council of Elrond I gauged that I was within his swingline and decided that an expression of marvel was in order.
Anyway, I digress. Poor old Wild Land was pacing its cell.